Saturday, August 29, 2009

Hands of Heaven DVD

I often read this blog called It is written by a mother who lost her little girl by drowning in their backyard spa. She was only 14 months old when she died a year ago. Someone had forwarded me her blog and said that I should read it after Porters accident. I have found so much strength and comfort in her words, honesty, testimony and strength. She seems like a truly amazing woman. In one of her posts I found she talked about an Enrichment night where they played a DVD called Hands of Heaven, about friends gettting friends through different trials. It sounded interesting so I clicked on the link and ordered it.
I got it in the mail a few days ago and didn't watch it until tonight. At first I was turned off by it and a little dissapointed. I didn't realize that the whole story was told in still frame photos. It felt a little cheesy and I had a hard time focusing on the story. But I decided to just give it a try and finish watching it.
There were 4 friends each with different trials they had to help eachother get through. The 4th girls story seemed like it was just the conclusion of how she didnt have a major trial, she was just thankful for her friends and how they are so close. As she is talking and telling the story you hear her little girl in the background screaming for her because her little sister had fallen in the pool. It shows her jumping in the pool, performing CPR and the struggle and questions of why she wasnt breathing or why this wasn't working. What were they doing wrong? I began to cry and was overcome with emotion. I was totally relating to this woman. I couldn't help but think of Porter's accident and replayed it in my mind. I related to her when she was put in the ambulance on a gurney in nothing but her swimming suit, the questioning of whether or not her daughter would be alright, would she still be the same little girl, what complications would come of this? As I was watching it I felt so much comfort. It was the first time in a year that I felt like I finally had justification for my feelings. It was such a hard trial, still is hard, I still think of it every day, I still cry when I tell the story, I still hold Porter a few minutes longer each night and thank my heavenly father that he is able to be with us.
As the DVD goes on I felt as though it was my exact story being told. As if she was telling my exact thoughts, the struggles I faced. The guilt, depression, confusion, who could I talk to that would understand.
I truly feel like this is the first time I have ever found something or someone that I have somewhat related with. I felt a little crazy that I had such a hard time but didn't lose my little boy. I couldnt talk it out with other moms who had lost their children, because my pain wasn't nearly on their same level. I also realized that I have learned so much and have grown so much from that experience.
Its a great DVD if you want to order it, watch it and maybe pass it along to someone you think would be healed from it. I was!
I thought of so many of you with your own trials that you are being faced with and realized how much comfort I draw from your strength.
Thank you to all those that helped me through this trial, who continue to help me through other trials and who uplift me without even realizing it. If you are reading this, then that probably means I am referring to you in some way. So thanks!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Another Fun Day at Disneyland!

Call me crazy for taking my kids to Disneyland, by myself, 35 weeks pregnant but we had such a blast and I am so glad I did! I was only going to go for an hour or two. This is our last week of summer before school starts and also the last week before our passes expire. I ended up going at 10:30 in the morning and not leaving until 6:30. We just kept having so much fun we didn't want to leave. It was nice for it to just be the 3 of us. We could do whatever we wanted and not have to worry about anything else! We were able to squeeze in so much surprisingly with how hot and crowded it was.

Eliza was so excited to see Minnie she thought it was worth the 30 minute wait in the sun! It was worth it to see how happy she was to take her picture and give her a hug. I thought she had grown out of this, but apparently not!

We bought a few souveneirs (which we don't usually do since we go often enough) and sat and waited for the parade! My kids loved it and luckily the things they chose kept them entertained for 45 minutes.

Eliza was thrilled to be able to go on the Buzz lightyear ride all by herself. She felt so big. Lucky for me she was happy about it because with only 3 of us we didn't really have much of a choice.

Since it was such a hot day I brought the kids swimming suits and we went over to California Adventure and played in the fountains. They loved this! I think this was the Highlight of the whole day! As we were leaving we saw that the street parade was starting so we just sat down and watched it.

I can't believe how well the day turned out. The kids behaved so well, listened, didn't complain, and really were troopers. I wish every day was like this!

Friday, August 21, 2009


-Why no matter how well you plan your day and try to be ontime, can you never anticipate that the dog is gonna have diahrea and you discover it on your way out the door to your Doctors appointment.

-Why do I have to change Doctors when I am 34 weeks pregnant? Why when i call the new Dr. I have chosen does the nurse tell me that she will give my chart to the Dr. and he will decide if he will take me as a patient this late in my pregnancy??? What? They can do that? I thought I made the decision whether or not I wanted to be his patient.

-Why are your kids so happy and helpful until the moment you walk into Walmart? I swear they have some microchip in their brain that goes off once we enter that tells them now is the time to be naughty, throw tantrums, ask to buy things they already know what the answer will be, try to get out of the cart, try to put things in the cart I have already said no to...UGH!

-Why am I craving so many sweet things lately? I feel like I can't get enough! At the beginning of this pregnancy I wanted salty/fast food. Now I want icecream, chocolate pie, cookies, soda, anything sweet! But then why if I am eating all of this junk food, did I go to my Dr. Appt. today and not gain any weight? Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled! Its just a little mind boggling. Am I bragging? Maybe a little! More just justification that I am gonna keep eating it!

The funny thing is, I actually had a really good day today. It may not sound like it but we had alot of fun! Over all it was good day. We got our favorite babysitters and went to my Aunt Karen's 70th Birthday party. It was fun to see family and spend some quality time with Matt. Then come home and kiss my kids goodnight who are peacefully sleeping in their beds!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Swimming Lessons

We were excited that Rocky and Piper were able to join us for the second session. We had so much fun being in the same class and that it forced them to spend 2 weeks with us doing fun things and playing.

Porter raising his hand to go first. Most of the kids were crying but he was a champ and just charged it. I was so proud of him!

He even jumped off of the diving board. Just walked to the edge by himself and jumped. His teacher would be waiting to catch him and then Porter would swim to the edge on his own! I really can't believe how far he has come. It makes me so happy to see how much he loves to swim and how proud of himself he is.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Who wouldn't....

Post a picture that makes you look good at 33 weeks pregnant! This is with my good friend Ryan. We went bowling for my brothers Birthday and had a blast! Matt whipped everyones butt and bowled a 202. That's my man!!!!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Feeling sad today...

Today was Cooper Koffords funeral and I missed it. My heart is breaking and I am not quite sure if the decision to not go was the best choice.
I am wishing I was there.

Cooper is my Cousin Jana's little boy who died on Friday. I can't imagine what this family must be going through but I have been so amazed by their love and strength. They have had an incredible outlook and have touched me and strengthened my testimony in so many ways.

Cup stacking

My kids have been coming up with some pretty fun games lately. The most recent one was getting almost 200 cups and made cup stacking towers! It really entertained them for a long time! I loved the it but I think my mom might be a little upset that they used all her paper cups...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Puppet Making!

Sometimes it is challenging to find things that help pass the days and keep the kids happy and entertained. We are constantly trying to come up with fun things and this seemed to be a big hit! At Walmart I found some Martha Stewart puppet kits on sale and bought a couple for each kids to make. They were actually pretty simple and easy to assemble. The kids thought they were great! That night when my brother and his family came over the kids put on a little puppet show for everyone!